SubscribeSMALL BUSINESS LEADER May 2005
SMALL BUSINESS LEADER
ISSUE # 71
May, 2005
I'm declaring May as the month for transforming negative relationships or dropping them. Why? Because they bear a cost in so many ways: time, money, energy, and possibly reputation. By changing or moving out of them you'll change the dynamic of your business. As a small business leader you can't afford the cost of keeping long term negative relationships.
Having lived through several negative relationships recently, some of them long term, I have vowed I will never again allow negative relationships to take their toll. So I'm sharing with you one of my experiences and a new perspective and criteria for managing negative relationships.
Our Feature Article is "Negative Relationships: Yes or No?" and the May Lunchtime Telephone Roundtable asks "Are Your Negative Relationships Costing You?" If your life is without negative relationships you may want to skip this issue. Otherwise, stick around and see what you can learn.
Also in this issue, I've decided to introduce the Small Business Leaders' Marketplace, where you can post a text ad of up to 50 words and have it appear in 3 issues for just $25. Details are below. Let me know if you'd like to participate.
To your success,
Marian Banker
Publisher
Small Business Leader
marian@primestrategies.com
www.primestrategies.com
In This Issue:
Feature Article:
Negative Relationships: Yes or No?
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Special Program
"Brain Exchange Roundtable"
May Lunchtime Telephone Roundtable
"Are Negative Relationships Costing You?"
Articles:
IMPROVE NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH WORDS
LOW TECH - HIGH SELL
PIGGYBACK MARKETING
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About the Publisher
Feedback
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FEATURE ARTICLE:
Negative Relationships: Yes or No?
Like you, I'm a small business owner, blessed (or cursed) by the entrepreneurial spirit. Relationships are the backbone of my business.
I like positive relationships because they benefit me. I don't like negative relationships because they steal my precious resources. Recently I've had more than my share of the negative. As a result, I've had to look more carefully at all my relationships. One thing for sure: I will no longer put up with long term negative relationships.
We all face having to manage relationships. Relationships are what keep our business moving. They are the energy and life force of our business. Relationships are based on communication, of course. All kinds of communication: verbal, written, telephone, e-mail, web, operating systems, etc. I consider Relationships to be one of the key operating systems of a business. We need a way to deal with them so this important system doesn't become disrupted.
Clearly we want to lay the groundwork for each relationship very clearly so expectations are known and agreed upon at the beginning. I have just had to apply my own criteria to a negative relationship I am currently facing personally.
Six weeks ago my husband and I decided our old car was dying after a valiant 225,000 miles. It made sense for us to apply for a second mortgage so we could pay cash for a new Subaru Outback AWD Sedan. So we filed our application the same day we ordered the new car. We were told the loan application process should take 7 - 10 days. That was fine because the new car could take 4 - 6 weeks to come in. Well, the car arrived at the dealership in less than 3 weeks. The loan process has dragged on to over 5 weeks and we're still addressing the details.
Not only has this complicated our car arrangements, we have been told nothing about what's going on with the loan. Any inquiries send back vague answers like "we haven't heard" if we get an answer at all. Definitely a non-responsive behavior. We are left on our own to make the best of a messy situation. Our expectations have not been met and attempts at getting answers have been received almost coldly. We already know we will not do business there again.
I wish I'd have been prepared for what we've had to face. I bear partial responsibility for not getting more information up front, but to set unrealistic expectations is bound to set up a negative relationship should anything go wrong. There were some important questions they should have asked us so we all would have realistic expectations. We each could have done a better job in establishing this relationship
If we had known the truth we could have made the choice of whether or not to deal with this company and this woman who claimed "we were her customer". It's a negative relationship once, but it won't be twice. The old saying, "once burned, twice shy" definitely applies.
When you let down the other party - for whatever reason, you're setting up a negative relationship. Even existing relationships that were positive in the past can turn negative when there is a big change in communication. When someone cares about you, they make the effort to keep their word or provide a reasonable explanation when they can't.
This was what I call a single interaction negative relationship. We had one interaction and since it was negative, that's the end of the relationship.
The lesson is: take responsibility for your relationships, mend negative ones, wherever possible, and end those which cannot be repaired. To help you keep negative relationships to a minimum, set your own criteria for preventing them, changing them and terminating them. Keep your negative experiences to those you will have with first-time interactions. Hopefully, even those will be fewer in the future with clearer upfront communication.
In the future the guidelines I will use regarding relationships are as follows:
- Is there something for each of us to gain in working out the relationship?
- Do we both agree we want our relationship to continue?
- Can we agree on each of our responsibilities?
- Do we agree to contact each other with a reasonable explanation when commitments are in jeopardy.
If any of the above are not met, the relationship will end.
You don't have to bear the loss of time, money and energy that long term negative relationships can cost. It's up to you to take action to make sure your relationships are positive. You'll enjoy your business more, and find it much more productive, when it's based on positive relationships.
YOUR ASSIGNMENT:
Take a look at your own relationships. This might be a good time to ask yourself: how am I as a relationship partner? Where am I not meeting expectations?
Review your relationships with staff, suppliers, creditors. Plan to address each relationship that is negative in any way. Decide what you'd like to achieve in that relationship. Write it down and decide how you're going to make the change. Don't make it a big project, just do it.
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QUESTION:
What is the ultimate negative relationship?
Answer below.
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BRAIN EXCHANGE:
If you're in the New York metropolitan area, you're cordially invited to attend the next Brain Exchange Roundtable, http://primestrategies.com/bxrt, on Monday, May 23rd, 6:00 to 8:30 p.m. EDT. You'll be given 2 minutes to introduce your business in a comfortable and informal business environment. Then we engage in an exchange of ideas, experience, knowledge, expertise and resources. Join us!
"I liked the diversity of the participants at the Roundtable. While I heard little that was new, there was much I needed to be reminded."
Donald Schwartz, ImageLink Productions
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May Lunchtime Telephone Roundtable
Moderator and Discussion Leader: Marian Banker, MBA, Business Leadership & Strategy Coach
Topic:
"Are Negative Relationships Costing You?"
Date: Thursday, May 26, 2005, 1 to 2 p.m. EDT
Guest Expert: Adam Rothenhaus is an attorney, a writer, and the founder of Slightly Better Communications, www.slightlybetter.com, a consultancy that helps clients improve working relationships while developing healthy work environments with more productivity. Slightly Better treats human communication as the omnipresent X factor that distributes across everything we do each day. That's why Adam believes even just small improvements in our communication can create much better circumstances in our lives.
You know about negative relationships: those that take your time, money and energy and don't produce what you expected. Sometimes it seems like you're on a different planet than people you are interacting with. What can you do?
In this Roundtable, Marian will introduce her strategic perspective on handling negative relationships and Adam will pick up on the human communications aspect. You'll participate with your questions, experiences and observations.
You'll hear about:
A new perspective on the role and value of relationships in business
Costs of negative relationships
Causes of negative relationships
Communication in relationships
What makes a clear communication
How to address your negative relationships
Setting criteria for managing negative relationships
If you're currently in or have ever been in a negative relationship you won't want to miss this forum for learning and sharing. Plan to join us.
There is NO CHARGE for this event.
To register for this Roundtable call, send an e-mail to roundtable52605@primestrategies.com.
Within minutes you will receive the call-in number and instructions by-email from our autoresponder.
Here¹s what's been said about our popular Roundtable.
"The Guest Expert gave fresh ideas to reinvigorate the small business owner. I love the format."
Carolyn Tierney, ASID, Ferrium Design Studio
FLASH ! !
Would you like to be the Guest Expert on a future Telephone Roundtable?
Prime Strategies offers this excellent venue to give you visibility and credibility in the small business marketplace. Get the details. Send e-mail to marian@primestrategies.com with the Subject as Roundtable Guest Expert.
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ANSWER:
The ultimate negative relationship is war. You knew that.
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Articles:
IMPROVE NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH WORDS
Helen Meyerson suggests we can improve relationships by being more mindful of the words we use and offers some specific examples.
http://www.positivepath.net/ideasHM5.asp
LOW TECH - HIGH SELL
With the high tech menu-driven telephone systems many big companies provide, being able to interact in a meaningful and productive conversation with a real human can offer a big advantage. Pat Croce suggests you "reach out and sell someone".
http://www.fortune.com/fortune/smallbusiness/articles/0,15114,1010428,00.html
PIGGYBACK MARKETING
If you're looking for a low cost, high visibility marketing action, consider piggybacking onto a major organization's marketing efforts. You may be able to negotiate for a lower tier of sponsor recognition in exchange for volunteering or donating goods or services. The Open Small Business newsletter offers some great options.
http://www133.americanexpress.com/osbn/landing/newsletter_findingmoney.asp